Maybe I am all attentionwhore after all? Michoggingwhore or karaokewhore, whatever you want? It just hurts somewhat, you know? Not that kind of "pain" that... makes your heart ache it's just...
Everytime I try out for something I REALLY want, it just turns out that I never get a part in it anyway. Really. I'm only in projects that I produce myself OR been talking to the producer about it. Liana's thing for example, didn't get a part. SoA's thing, didn't get a part. Windy's minimoni thing, didn't get a part. Sure, I didn't audition for that minimoni thing but I sure as hell talked about it. And let's not talk about Liana's MKB group.
I mean, am I just being WAY TOO selfcentered here or am I really not good enough? Haha. I know it sounds really weird but it... somewhat hurts my... pride? I don't know. It really hurts anyway. I'm not that good after all.
And that thing Geof said over at mmbbs about the viyuden thing. Not that good hu? Mixing was bad and my singing just wasn't good? Myself I thought it was pretty good but he, of course is very good with these kind of things, according to him it's not. So I guess it's not that good... heh.
Thought about mixing too. My releases never get comments, you know? Lix3 for example barely got any reviews. Liana's however... get tons. And not just from me, Maki, Kristi. You know?
I just feel really useless. Haha. Hm. How about I give Yabeye to Kristi or something? Like... they're awesome girls but my mixing ain't that good obviously. Same with Li-X. Although Lisa likes it... Lisa likes me, yay. It really does make me feel abit better. Now I know both Kristi and Liana likes my stuff but it's just not as good as theirs and... blah. Emo, okay?
I just... feel like... I don't know. I suck. Blah. Screw it. I'm going to bed. Whatever.