Today was great. Only me and her downtown and it was great. Had a hilarious chineseclass with alot of breaks, since it's moving forward soo damn slow. We had a few nice little breaks, lovely breaks. And it was all neat. After school we stepped by Asien Express and had a chat with Wendy and played some YATZY... it was neat. Also bought some of this asian ... cookies im getting hooked on. Good thing though, they're not sweet or anything, just really really tasty. After leaving AE she went to her practice and i left for Hennes&Mauritz for some mousse and then for home. It was nice.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I should just shut up and get it. I'm happy, right? I have friends that I love more than anything. Both IRL and online. I have a wonderful girlfriend and I'm getting along with my family. School is starting to work out for me too... so why the hell am I like this?! I have everything... and still I'm not happy. Why? What the hell is wrong with me?! I've never been so damn grateful to anything before... people care for me. I love you guys.
Soo Youn told me once... "You know, I don't think I ever told you this, but damn you make me happy... so damn happy. I wouldn't make a day without you now..." I know... I feel the same way... but still something is... holding me back. I don't know what.
You don't deserve happiness. And you know that. You know that happiness only lasts for a little while and that's why you're being a coward. You... you are a lame pathetic excuse for a human... Bah. Things would be so much easier if you wouldn't be here.
And... yes. I'm scared.